Saturday, June 22, 2013

Discarded: Celebutantes by Goldberg and Hopper
Released: February 2009

Sometimes the bargain bin at my local bookstore has some good finds - other times, it's a total crapshoot. I found Celebutantes in the store's bargain bin, and I should have known better after seeing that Amazon officially sells this novel at a never-changing "Bargain Price." After attempting to read this novel, I totally get why it's officially become a bargain book.

I couldn't make it past page 30 of Celebutantes.

Celebutantes is written by Amanda Goldberg and Ruthanna Khalighi Hopper. According to the book's back cover, the authors are apparently "two daughters of Hollywood royalty." Goldberg's father is a television and movie producer, and Hopper herself is also a producer.

The plot centers around a socialite's experiences (or exploits, as the cover-flap puts it) in Hollywood during the week of the Oscars, as she tries to make a life for herself in the film industry.

The entire novel (or at least the first 30 pages) is pretty much nothing but name-dropping and pop-culture references to actors, actresses, and fashion designers. Here are some example snippets from page 2 of the novel:

"I feel like I've been stabbed in the chest with those YSL silver stilettos Nicole Kidman's wearing."
"...Charlize Theron...ten paces ahead of us in a form-fitting ice blue satin organza and silk tulle Christian Dior heart-stopper."
"Not even a hot bath with Wayne Dyer on the iPod is going to alleviate the pain..."

And that's just a FEW snippets from page 2 of the book.

I tried very hard to have fun with this light, fluffy, happy book and stick with the plot - but the plot was so buried under all the name-dropping that it was pretty much nonexistent. By page 25, my eyes had completely glazed over, and my mind was wandering over to other books I could read, the next day's work, what I would cook for dinner, etc.

Of course, novels like Celebutantes are dated and time-sensitive, and lose their shelf-life within a few years, if not several months. For example, Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend broke up years ago, and some of the actors and actresses mentioned aren't even in the spotlight anymore.

Not only did I dislike Celebutantes, but I'm actually super pissed that I spent money on it, even at its bargain price. One reader on referred to this book as "Celebutards." That's pretty much how I'd refer to this book if I could change its title.

If you enjoy fictional novels involving celebrities, try one of the following novels: Just the Sexiest Man Alive by Julie James, Breathe by Abbi Glines, Love Unscripted by Tina Reber, and Between the Lines by Tammara Webber.

Click on any of the images of the books below to review them in more detail on

Have you read any novels recently that you had to discard or stop reading? Share your experiences with us in the comments section below!

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